And unlike a phone call or a personal visit, e-mail doesn't require an immediate response from the recipient. The truth is, each family is unique, and a visitor will have little idea about the actual pains that the family went through to keep the person healthy and alive. Some friends have the knack for hitting all the right notes and saying all of the right things. are not protected by an attorney-client privilege and are instead governed by our Privacy Policy. Hindus believe that humans are in a continuous cycle of death and rebirth calledsamsara. When writing sympathy cards for Hindu loved ones, geography plays a vital role. If your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died is more casual, it may be best to wait until the wake, funeral or memorialservice, or after the funeral to reach out. Have a shortened version ready in case you find yourself breaking down. In many rural areas of India, gender inequalities still exist where the men adopt the head of household position. It is not slain when the body is slain. Bhagavad Gita 2.20. Sometimes, guests also attend this ceremony. 4. Ask for his/her input and a checklist of what needs to be decided and completed. Make a list of all the ways your loved one enriched . Various worldwide locations connote different customs and norms. Unfortunately, when a son dies, some people come up with public statements along the lines of Theyve lost their only son which is an unfair statement that reeks of gender bias. When a person dies, their atman (spirit or soul) is reincarnated into a different physical body or life form (human, animal, insect or plant). Everyday Health | Visiting a family who just lost a loved one? Unfortunately, we sometimes see inappropriate things being said during such an occasion. The body of the deceased should be released as quickly as possible to enable the family to prepare for the funeral. Additionally, they are not to touch or go near the family shrine. For instance, if the family head shows or voices no grief, the guests will respond similarly. And if you plan on visiting themyoull spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. Most of the Hindu mourning rituals performed are designed to promote the free expression of emotions. 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As a general rule, the closer your relationship to the bereaved, the sooner you should contact him or her. Because of the short cremation time, there is no requirement for embalming. New threads and replies may not be made here. How can people of the Hindu faith be supported when grieving? If you are a casual friend or extended friend: Send an email or text immediately and follow up after the. There are no set customs prohibiting working during the period of mourning, so returning to work is often an individual decision. As author Arvind Sharma writes, Hinduism is not a thing; it is a process. He would more or less characterize Hinduism as a method or temperament. Unlike some religions, youll also find that Hindus mourn for 13 days, which can also determine what you should and should not write. Generally, only people who are particularly invited to the shraddha ceremony will attend. After a person succumbs to illnesses such as cancer, some visitors make public assertions about magical cures that have no scientific validity, claiming that the person could have been alive through such means. Shell never be forgotten. When someone experiences the loss of a loved one, visiting the bereaved in person is a thoughtful way to convey the deepest sympathy and offer support. Sadly, politics trumps principles in Kerala! However, they can participate in the chanting of mantras taking place thereafter. If they are in hospital, it is helpful to inform the chaplain about their spiritual needs (with the patients permission). If this cultural shift is your cousins history, it might be appropriate to mention that distinction to honor them both after. The more eulogies that are to be delivered, the shorter yours should beno less than two minutes, but no longer than eight to ten. 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The funeral directors will take the body for bathing, dressing and anointing with the permission and in the presence of chosen friends and relatives before the funeral rites take place. Whether you are going to a Hindu funeral or just want to send condolences to an acquaintance, we've provided 15 thoughtful examples as a place to start. Is 'Leela' an appropriate tamil brahmin name for a baby girl ? See if you would agree. 5. Available to ship anywhere in the U.S. After the cremation service, the family will return home and perform Hindu death rituals such as ceremonial bathing. Ultimately, Hindus believe that through praxis, accumulation of good karma, and divine grace, moksha (liberation) can be achieved after death. If you wonder what Hindu funeral traditions are like, they can be different from traditional American funerals, but the core fundamentals remain the same. According to my calculations based on astrology, he could not have chosen a better time to die is another example of saying the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time. Emily Post training and consultation services are available for groups, businesses and individuals. It may work for a coworker or friend who has lost their spouse. I understand that not only did your friend mean a great deal to you, but also that Keyur was well-loved by his family and community. 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After the mourning period, it is appropriate to visit the deceaseds family at their place. Here's a list of simple and concise condolence messages that can be sent to a person in grief. This is generally the case with professional colleagues and associates, community and religious organization members, and other acquaintances. And while most of the information provided above mixes trust with credible sources, theres such variety to the Hindu culture and faith systems that what works in one scenario may not work in another. At the point of acute loss, the person will be numb and will not be able to listen to long lectures and suggestions by visitors. However, the following brief and simple condolences will let the grieving family know you care: We are sober, we are really sad about his sudden departure, May the Creator accept our prayers on his behalf. You are using an out of date browser. Then, organize help with phone calls and the preparation of a newspaper announcement. We loved her as our class teacher, she meant so much for all of us.. I understand that cerain days like Fridays and Saturdays are avoided for such visits. After bereavement, a person goes through denial, anger, bargaining, depressionand finally acceptancethese stages take time. A Hindu priest is an officiant, who presides over all Hindu funeral rites. Post Funeral. Service animals are allowed. People should wear white and not black. You could certainly send her a personal note expressing your condolences. Hindu funerals usually take place within 24 hours of death. In summary, visiting a grieving family requires good knowledge of etiquette as outlined above. Who else would she like to have involved as eulogists, readers or ushers? With this in mind, here are a few ideas for what to write in a sympathy note after losing a friend. Thank the family for offering the honor to you. It is also appropriate inHindu tradition to send sympathy gifts. The loss of a child is particularly devastating for parents, and it is totally wrong to pass such remarks that implicate their role in the childs death. We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service A kind friend never leaves our hearts; they will remain with us always. He leads the family and mourners in various Hindu funeral rituals. The guests should expect to see the body, offer condolences to the bereaved family, and take a seat quietly. It is specifically meant for those who are contemplating visiting a recently bereaved family. Deepest condolence messages very helpful in grief. This is an important death ritual, which usually takes place throughout the mourning period. (2.20) acche'dyo' yam adhaahyo' yam akle'dhyo' sya eva cha / nithyah sarva-gathah sthaanoor achalo' yam sanaathanah. This short message gets to the essence of the Hindu faith in just a few short words. Close with warm words, such as "With deepest sympathy." Any distractions must be shrugged away until we are out of sight, and away from earshot. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. Common blunders while visiting the bereaved: 1. 9. Loss is hard. Sit down at your desk as soon as you hear of the death and let your thoughts be with your coworker as you write to her. If thats the case, then you would express hope for the path after death to be more apparent than the one during life. Adherence to a strict mourning period is less common today. Visitors are also welcome during this period. If unsure, the best thing to do is stick to something straightforward. For instance, the death of a teenager is perceived differently from that of a 90-year-old. Plan a remembering celebration with family or friends. Unexpected death, especially of the violent type can result in an emotionally supercharged situation, requiring us to tread very carefully to avoid offending anyone. Candles and flowers decorate the wake , as well as the funeral service and the burial ground. In this sect of Hinduism, theres no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. Memorial Day, considered the unofficial start of summer, is the last Monday in May. Just as It is all part of Gods plan might not go down well with an atheist, He will soon be reborn into a more beautiful life can be hugely offending to someone who doesnt believe in rebirth. Thats because they are considered to be impure spiritually during the mourning period. people will avoid going to the deceased house. Harper San Francisco. Friends may call or visit family members of the deceased to offer their condolences upon hearing of the death and may bring flowers to them at that time. Today is a sad day for us. The body usually remains at home until it is taken to the place where it will be cremated. On behalf of my family, I want to say how sorry we are for your loss. 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Good and bad manners do exist about visiting the bereaved, albeit with some variation between cultures.