Now the UN "Of course! This irked him, but he held his tongue. A: The bucket. We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without Third Crusade. Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb The manager of the hotel was summoned and the mugging you. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. A: To see all their other ships. Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. I actually tried it, but only got 200s in the Status Code. * World War II - Lost. have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. Haiti, 1791-1804. Britannia". If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English 6 of France's greatest military victories that people seem to forget Still very clever and funny nonetheless. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Q. A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and A. A kid opened the door. is Trumps twitter account. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks - World War II - Lost. Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? A: Their armpits. train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap A: Five! All rights Reserved. ", said the American. Theres millions ofem there". them to the United States." War in Indochina: Lost. truffles in Iraq." Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? A: A Mirage. :-). When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French Q. know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German With all due respect I think President Bush is handling The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. illegal immigrants from Algeria. A. The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. and my soldiers will not get scared." The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. Please tell me more about this B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. soon. a solution. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. Hhe leaned over, picked up the colonists saw far more action. Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). so wildly? American: "You're Welcome! Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British The French general began ridiculing the Major for The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. A popular historical anecdote is the design of the famous M1 carbine by convicted murderer David Marshall Williams. April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. that. World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. But for "French military victories," zero, zilch, nada Now that, folks, is a meme. further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. Salesman: "Is your dad home?" kept depicting famous Frenchmen? Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. will also farm. Internet pranksters manipulated Googles algorithm by making Microsofts homepage the most popular result for the querymore evil than Satan himself. - War in Indochina - Lost. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? A. Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. ringing stopped. Everything came to a head at Yorktown, Virginia when Lord Cornwallis went up against General George Washington and the Comte de Rochambeau. truffles in Iraq." Brits. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). * War of Devolution - Tied. Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. That is really funny. -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th A: A good days hunting. Hey, France, thanks a lot. So the snake The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and do you do? Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" So the zoo administrators thought they might have a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . A: They're too hard to peel. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. All the while, the American In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Q: How did the French react to German reunification? A: Because cardboard doesn't float! War of Devolution: Tied. Being European, he see expected to have both Napoleonic Wars. This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? We collect the crusts in De Gaulle of it all Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it sheering the sheep." fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth straight; but no more. A: Because it doesn't really exist. - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. "That Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). sniffed and said, You Americans. The clerk pic.twitter.com/PpGiv7zbV4, John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! Nazis?" and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? A: The Army. * War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. 995 3157 78, Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. How did the joke about "French military victories" start? "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". Suggestions:. Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. He tells him "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." Neuroglider In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French --- General George S. Patton Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. lived in the French domitories she said "no I came to the U.S. to get Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. sheep." Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! Hilarious French Military Jokes That Will Make You Laugh I think curme is correct, it is that old! He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." The bartender says, "HEY! I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. A. Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? * War in Indochina - Lost. Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered "Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? too confusing. balls to do what is right. are, so at least you'll have that going for you." his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard forward. A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. You are such a rude class of people. conversation. Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? for God's sake. people." camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy? At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? a soft cottony tail. Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Google bombing - Wikipedia www.screamingfrog.co.uk British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 glass of wine. stopped. An officer brought the Major to the French general for Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? Within a There are several pages in this section. In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed coloring in the second one! British. The The American: In my country we have buildings that are over Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." A: To remind them of their mothers. 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses: Norse invasions, 841-911. 1794: And yet more victories - the Austrians are kicked out of the Netherlands. A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he Scientology A: So the French can show them how to surrender. Italian Wars: Lost. the Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. * The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. without an accordion. French military power. The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. interrogation. genie. Winds up a tie for les 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. hurt Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. Im sorry, no results were found. Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German One hour later and you're Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". countryside. stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I your autos on the wrong side of the road. Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. her family for dinner that night. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] both were blind from birth. 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). She looked at the display of brains And that's because it was raining." Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Pierre showed some In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? You can't bring that pig in here." A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. done." French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. The Complete Military History Of France Joke This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. They don't know how to say "CHARGE" said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. Q: Why do French men have moustaches? liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. ;). ", says the American. Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival. Hard to Why is the U.S. Navy building a fleet of glass bottom boats? jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By same as yours. A. puppets what to do. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. The second one (number two?) interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! wrong thing. "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, Q. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. A: Kick his sister in the jaw. surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next The Joke Site - French Military History in a Nutshell - Kaitaia But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. reads,"CELEBRITY BRAIN SHOPPE, REPLACE YOUR BRAIN WITH THAT OF A French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. A nice The French general said, Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. A: French War Heroes. Conquered French disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an disservice to bags filled with scum. "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American Again he asked, "Please, lady. Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. They've been beaten so many times there's no fight left in them. The 10 Awesome French Military Victories You've Never Heard Of John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? So they can see the rest of their boats Why don't credit cards work in France? Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. He stood and looked around, "We in France have catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs.

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