I built her flower boxes and a deck box, even a storage rack for her kayaks and canoe. I have someone that they work with that gives me info and all they do is talk about me and say Im a terrible mother and person.. Hi, I married my wife when i was 22 yo No they will not. Just pity those who fall for his charm in believing in him its only a matter of time before they will find how false he is . And now she wants to leave. He lied to me while he still lived here after he decided we should separate and told me there was no one else when he was already texting this girl behind ny back. She was afraid to tell u sooner prob cause she was afraid it would make u mad. Hes in his mid 40s and literally has nothing, his mommy and daddy are still paying his way and completly enabling him to behave this way. I am an alcoholic in recovery with almost 22 yrs of sobriety. Read some of what I wrote I was married for 21 YEARS and mine did the same thing. Spousal abandonment, when one person leaves without warning, doesnt mean youre doomed to live in a perpetual state of bewilderment and grief. Wow, that sucks.feel terrible that you have to go through that especially when youve been so patient with all of her disabilities. As I said I honestly never intended this and I also didnt realize she was hurt as she tends to respond emotionally to most things I care about love and passion and family, but if I tell him he laughs and says we dont need that. If I do what you want, you say I am only doing it because you told me to.". This was a choice she made and didnt care about you or your feelings or your child for that matter. I was unable to get over a relationship Id had, for THIRTY years! Anyone looking in from the outside would say Im a fool. I still work full time. For THIRTY years, I pined horribly over this bull****. My husband told me he's not happy- please help! Its awful to feel rejected. It appears the more you try, the more you are rejected. Terrible Signs Your Husband Is Unhappy In Marriage The sudden realization sets in: my husband left me. Then, i had to find a new job to support our family, while he hung out and looked online everyday for 3 months. Trust and believe Carma is on its way. Whatever, fine by me Ill gladly give up weekends for my kids. Then 2017 came and both of the kids are on their own, and I decided to try and retire, and my wife and I committed to working on the intimacy / sex issue again and we even planned a vacation for August which we took and was the first for us together in over 20 years. I broke down and hit the ultimate low and the very next day she used it and stripped me of custody and I didnt get to see my kids for 7 months. Its just interesting that two years went by and he never once mentioned anything about being unhappy since the former conversation but felt justified to leave because he had a conversation two years prior to him leaving. Protect yourself. I have never felt so humiliated in all my life. I moved away from my hometown with my son Met the man Im with now and my 7 year old loves him His real daddy recently passed away and so me and my fiance wanted a baby sister for us and him meanwhile he has 4 other kids that he told me the kids couldnt keep him at there house. We went from 4 to 2 overnight in the household. It feels a bit embarrassing to except the money that she wants me to have, but at this time with my current situation, I need it. Then I found out that she had actually gone away with her ex husband, and our daughter slept at a friends house to make it look good. You may click to view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. Im totally breaking my heart, I never thought this would ever happen hes the best thing that ever happened to me. First of all i feel sorry for you i know where your coming from.my wife left me after 16 yrs. Nobody is perfect but there have to be certain things that will be most important to you. One of the things they do is to project their own miseries and insecurities off on you !! Loyalty, infidelity, honesty. Yea, meeting otherpeople may be fun for a little while, but coming home to someone who knows you inside out is un-irreplaceable. Please u did not say anything concerning my case, am in Cameroon, and we have less of such facilities like therapist on psychological or marital issues. The only thing that changed was he was now having to pay for his own health insurance. I am a naturally sarcastic person Get pleasable. However while she was visiting her family her step uncle came to town, I was not there but the day he arrived she turned cold. But guilt still plagues me. I felt like I was wasting his time. My wife and I have been together every day for 28 years.Married for 24 this Jan 1st and we lived together for 4 years. I have just left my partner of 16 years. My husband filed a bogus Restraining Order and threw me out if my home. We did counselling were he was told he had: PTSD and depression- of course there was nothing wrong with him. When I have been upset and called to to him he has been very cold and mean.telling me he hated being in a relationship with hated being a family and so on. I dont know how to be strong. You can get a new cat or dog, or you can even get a new boyfriend or girlfriend. The councilor suggested that I pay a visit to my gynecologist to get things checked out. My therapist told me she wanted her cake and eat it to. Please open up and share so others can help you. Now she said she cant give me a second chance because she doesnt want to chance things going back to the way they are for her now also saying she needs to find a new man in front of the kids. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Her parents became yet more overpowering towards her and to my kids adding yet more stress. We had a solid marriage and two great kids. It took me 27 years to realize I had married a narcissist . I did however have enough control of my wits to get a lawyer and try to speak for my innocence in court. 6. I dont know what to do.I know that i need companionship.I cant go through life alone.I miss her so much. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. She tells me her love life with her husband could never reach the level that her and I have. I feel betrayed n disappointed. This may help resolve the issue. This wasnt the fist time I had wanted to leave, but thankfully this time I felt more convinced that this relationship was not going anywhere. 2. She went to her mothers. I have no control over their daily lives with her I can only be thankful her parents are so actively involved in her life which she has thus far been able to suck the life out of them to the point I dont think they will last much longer. Some women ruin their lives because they feel so heartbroken over the loss of their husbands. Telling them she didnt want them,etc, My ex just left me with all the bills lol he walked out of my life like nothing and im the only hurtingif you need someone to talk to Im here, the fafher of my baby gel have been hot n cold for abt three years now .well it started while i was pregnant he used to beat me kick me or drag me on the road beating me if i have found out that he was cheating.or even chase me away sometimes every time he does sumthing wrong but i kept on staying becoz i luvd him n ddnt want to hurt his feelings after giving birth i found out tht he have been changing gels like peds.well i wanted to move out but had no choice things at home are not gud but i stayed unhappy though sometimez he wud say words painfull one but becoz i loved this guy it wasnt easy to just live .i remember one day i was with him n hiz brothers i found out tht his talking with somether lady in his home the i waited for him to see me n then i took my child n went to sleep guess what he budge in n started to drag me out side i tried to run but had no power he catched me n started beating me up n tripped me then i fall n he drag me with my foot untill my leg got dislockated couldnt even walk i wanted out but i forgave him untill other day we werent talking coz he have started it so dd not ask went to shopping when i came back my clothes were out side even my babys clothes then i waited for him he said to me i must go n stay where i will feel free n do whatever i want there well i just packed my stuff n left but after a week came back to him untill now he said tht i must get my own man i said to its better i go n stay with my children instead of this bcoz this time around i have been asking him to stay with his family atlist once in a week not with friends especial gelz friends guys i need ur help am i wrong to move out of this relationship becos i feel like im all by myself n cant be happy when i feel like going out coz hell be controlling me like i am his wife, Thank you for your comment, Thulani. Its easy to get trapped in black-and-white thinking, but you will need to expand your concept of the situation to truly heal. What about #6You were just an abusive alcoholic and I was sick and tired of being your punching bag? Give your kids a Merry Christmas and an amazing role model for the new year. Im not perfect and have owned and taken responsibility for all my faults but the blame. I questioned her about it and she denied it. As with a garden, when a relationship isnt tended to, it withers and dies. If you are married and these things happen, underlying all of it, if there is a commitment to stay the course, and do the work to overcome these sorts of issues, couples can come back from all sorts of problems. So, basically this proves to me she was using me for some time, which (while devastating perhaps) allows me to at least be thankful she isnt, and cant anymore. To make things better. We started dating at 17 and married at 25. This information was compiled from divorced couples, or as it may seem, long-term relationships. Hi I have been with my wife for 7 years we dated for 4 years and have been married for 3. Dh comes over to see kids every night. Sign the SBP, 10 yr rule for half his retirement and get your cs and alimony. I would get upset but he insisted there was nothing wrong with it. My husband of 10yrs left me, said he didnt live me anymore. I am completely devastated, I love her so much, and we have two children together. Over the Xmas period she started to become distant, but I put it primarily down to the fact that her grandad, who shes very close to, is now in a home with Alzheimers and it would be her first Xmas without him. DEAR ABBY: Husband bitter when wife succeeds where he failed I went through a lot in my life but this by far hurt the most. Make a list of the things you didnt like about her and your marriage. I am so desperate not knowing how to get out of it. The whole that used to be my heart was devastated. And even though your kids are older now, they still need you. I am in shock. So Im a stay at home mom my daughter and his brother live with us to help pay for medical bills, supplies, food shelter etc. Wed been having problems. I have a massively supportive family who I could lean on and who helped me in any way they could, but it still took a long time for me to find myself again, to be whole without the person I thought made me whole. He wont explain this behavior and blames me, acts like he hates me and just has to get our because he cant stand me all of a sudden . This will be hated financially. Families dont have to be mother, father, children. 2005-2023 Psych Central a Red Ventures Company. Any words of inspiration would be appreciated, although the way Im feeling right now, I dont know if they would be of any comfort. But as soon as the girls are home. When he left me, my mother was furious . :). I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. I just want her to call me & tell me its going to be ok but she is pressing ahead with this divorce in what seems nothing other than an irrational speed. 2. And he got away with it, because if the corrupt Judicial system. They then make efforts to reel you in again ! I dont know how this pain is ever going to go away. That is the latest science. She never calls, answers and doesnt text back at all. My estranged husband wants a divorce after 23 years. I am dealing with being invited to his brothers for thanksgiving. I knew my wife was no longer this person that I longed for. I have spent hours on my knees crying out to God and he has been merciful. If not dealt with correctly, these problems can shift into infidelity and disconnectedness. The important thing here is that you find someone who can make you feel good again. My boyfriend of 24 yrs left me and our kids two months ago, we have two daughters that live with us one is 22yrs old and the other one is 23 yrs old and she is terminal ill who needs 24 hr care. That we can t communicate, you werent there for me, we never had it right, every excuse in the book isnt flying with me. She had no problems telling me that she was moving out to her nieces. help me please. How can I do it? Please help? Note to self, pay more attention, and get reliable input from friends and family. We all do. she took the kids and moved in with her parents and ignored me for a week. I had my stuff, my money, my problems. Thank u for replying. Cant sleep without the sleeping pills or wine. Unlike bipolar or schizophrenia, a personality disorder is NOT a chemical imbalance! Hes decided to go and although there will be a lot for me to work through I truly think itll be the best thing. 2. However we were married 7 years together for 16, and 3 kids My husband found someone 11 years younger and left me 8 weeks after meeting her!! But, believe it or not, research suggests there's a dark side to dieting. They will never know how grateful I am. she just left everything behind, to be happy somewhere else. There was an excuse for every red flag that had shown up through the many years with the women whos emails he left open on his desk top , always the needy type in a bad relationship sad lonely women who fell for his charms (like he is some credible marriage guidance councellor haha ! ) They all go to the same school and population is 800 so no escape. I found this wholly inappropriate and said as much. Hatred is not something u do to someone u love, even I know this. Very young we started off mid teens. Im 33. And you will get there. I borrowed the money for the lawyer from somebody else.he paid all the bills. We had a good but quiet weekend. If he can just walk no strings attached then I dont want him back. Everything I am not!! Dont fall for it ! You dont want to have to recover from both. With a few self-care tips and a whole lot of. Its not a soap opera where the wife has to feed a mans ego and blow him every night.. Anyways thanks for your comment Im angry;-/ but I need to be a good role model snd keep it together. After 5 years together my wife left me to be with another man.I was recently diagnosed with serious health issues that are beyond my control and hereditary.She waited till I came from work and met me at the door.She had already quit her job and he was coming to get her. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but it doesnt work that way. I was left an emotional and physical wreck by this man who now controls our young adult children in the same manner and through manipulation, self pity and denouncing me to them, he tries to make them dislike and disrespect me. Been together 10 years. No debt and no issues in life. I write about the intersection of life and love: how spirituality has changed my relationships, what I do to cultivate love in my life, and why I believe that all relationships are spiritual. She told me she was leaving, that she had been unhappy for about a month, and that she needed to figure out who she was, saying that because she hadnt really been single for a lengthy period since she was 18 (shes 22 now) she based her individuality on her relationship. Remember when one door closes another one always opens. U keep trying to figure out what happened but he just wont work together andsats he doesnt want me anymore but doesnt say why.

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